coffee drink of choice: single americano with cream, cinnamon & nutmeg
lunch venue of choice: flour bakery
number of times I have eaten at flour bakery this year: over 200
number of major life changes I’ve made: 3
number of trips abroad: 3
countries visited: germany, sweden, netherlands
number of trips to new york city: 15+
amount of money I’d need to pay off my debts and run away to south or central america: $41,000
favorite album: bon iver’s “bon iver”
favorite gratuitous pop track: rihanna’s “we found love”
number of times I went sailing: 3 or 4
fastest speed driven in a car: 100 (but I wasn’t driving)
best dessert this year: chocolate pecan pie a la mode from westville west in greenwich village (*correction: that was eaten in 2012; the best dessert of 2011 has to be profiteroles from il piattino on newbury, until they were discontinued)
number of phone calls I have not returned in the past two months: 20+
favorite purchases: a kindle & spanish boots
favorite skin care product: mario badescu control cream
most overused phrase: “you know what I mean?”
number of months I have been a wandering vagrant: 4.5
number of days i have left in the united states: 22
Make sure:
1. Their father’s name is on their birth certificate.
2. Their first name doesn’t legally change later in life, and/or middle names get arbitrarily added/removed.
3. Paternity paperwork is copied and notarized in triplicate and/or translated into German and/or sealed in a locked vault along with every other identity document for years and years.
Words cannot describe how amazingly difficult and annoying and borderline impossible it is for me to retrieve any and all documents related to my identity in a timely fashion. Had I known that the German authorities require all this ridiculous paperwork, I probably wouldn’t have sought employment in Berlin. However, this is what it has come down to. A morass of bureaucracy; hours of phone calls with ladies in admin offices in Boston and Salem and Philadelphia who really just want to go home, have some tea, start their Christmas vacation early, and not deal with expats with nebulous family histories and constantly changing names. I feel like Jason Bourne, minus the Swiss bank accounts and multiple fake passports. But the passports would really come in handy…
Driving through Connecticut. Feels more immense and bleak than Texas. Connecticut never ends. My official roadtrip-to-collect-identity-documents through four states and visit some people begins next weekend. That will be, well, I’ll make it fun.
Word to the wise: never get a DNA test in the 90s without receiving all the paperwork in triplicate.
NYC at dusk in early December.
Here’s me and R. at the computer(s) — which if you can’t tell are wobbling fretfully on top of the piano — trying to help G. with his wireless network. (I’ve stopped brushing my hair so now it’s taking on a life of its own and forming quasi dreadlocks.) You’d think hanging out with successful classical composers would be an opportunity to talk about, I dunno, music. But instead we discuss family and solitude and Indonesia and technology and class divides. Both men are out of the apartment now, but the smell of R.’s cigarette still lingers. It’s harsh and bites the air, but something about it feels comforting.
PS: Check out G.’s musical works! I have uploaded some brief clips of his compositions (a handful out of 100+) to the website.
PPS: Oh, and happy Thanksgiving. I forgot I’m American. I spent my dinner hour singing along to ‘Kokomo’ in the supermarket. And then I made myself some frozen ravioli and ate it alone. But I am grateful for my dear friends, and what’s left of my loving family, and all the people who have been like family to me these long decades. I am also grateful for my education, and for lots of opportunities, and for being in The Netherlands (for free) to see some great films and spend quality time with G. again after several seasons — and his patience putting up with me and giving me life advice. In general, I am grateful for being able to afford food, and having places to stay (see above re: friends), and particularly the support of my mom (see above re: family). Oh and, I GOT A JOB IN GERMANY. But I’ll announce that later.
a neighbor drops his
spoon. the season’s gone too soon.
fog fights me and wins.
