— tapioca world tour

< economicrant >
It’s that time of year again.

I was actually relieved to file taxes because I thought *perhaps* I could get a little money back…but guess what? It’s looking like I OWE money. About the price of a RT flight across the ocean. How is this even possible? Or fair? If I were wealthy I would totally not mind paying taxes. But I am nowhere near wealthy, nor will I be for the next decade (or four). And paying the federal government — when I’m living under a different government, at the moment, and paying them even more — is neither fun nor fair. In fact it has made me feel worse than ever. Another random expense? As if there haven’t been an unbelievable amount of random expenses in the past year already.

I know it’s my own fault that I’m not rich. I’m a smart person, and I’ve gone to top schools. My family has been in the United States for three generations already. There is absolutely no reason I can’t figure out a way to benefit financially from my own intelligence, or at least live without debt. Or save money for things like, I don’t know, retirement or illness or children or taking care of my own mother who has no retirement or, lest I get greedy, a small but clean apartment somewhere.

Other people make money. I know some of them. They’re smart. But I am as smart. Is this what happens when you pursue anthropology and media studies and human rights instead of investment banking? Yes, Bon. This is exactly what happens. I knew I should have gone for that MBA.

For the time being, I am sitting on my giant rubber ball and twiddling my thumbs until the German government tells me all my paperwork is in order and I am allowed to start working here. At that point, I will pay into a social democracy that supports BOTH mothers and fathers when they have a child (for 14 months, people!) or when they get old, or when they’re unemployed or underemployed. It subsidizes nice apartments, it doesn’t charge people if they have to be hospitalized. It provides FREE (most of the time) university education. I don’t mind being taxed over 40% to live in this social democracy. But I have received no such benefits from my own country.

Don’t get me wrong, I know I am a privileged person — and let’s not forget the cultural capital that comes with being an American abroad (thankyou,prettybluepassport) — but if I hadn’t been living for free with friends these past seven months, things would have been much harder than they already are. If I were a man, statistically speaking, I would also be paid more and hired into more lucrative tech positions.

Sorry to go on about this. I was just momentarily enraged that, already really struggling financially, I’m hit with a bill from my own government. For what? Free health care? Free education? Paid maternity/paternity leave for my friends? Improved social services for children and poorer people in my city? Nope. Racial equity? Haaaaaa!

Ok, I’m done.
< /economicrant >