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dreams

We have a cool Dutch couchsurfer staying with us this week, as part of her 5-week journey through bits of the U.S. and Canada. Some Italians are coming later tonight. This is summer: staying with others in different countries, and others from different countries staying with me.

Last night I had a dream that someone I haven’t seen in years, an old friend turned non-friend turned lost ghost, stole my Satipo machete and first tried to kill me with it, then ran away so I couldn’t get the machete back. I chased her to a restaurant where she worked. She had hid the machete in the industrial kitchen, and I tried to fight her to get it back. I was really nuts without my machete. Perhaps this is the kind of dream you have when you hang a very large weapon/tool next to your bed.

And now I have to make an August to-do list, which will illustrate exactly how sickeningly academic my life has become, not that I am complaining in the least:

  • Contact a host for Humboldt Fellowship application
  • Submit Peru project proposal
  • Nail down thesis topic on m-governance, prepare presentation for Sept.
  • Write article for CMS magazine
  • Finish organizing Peru video clips, edit a cut for C4
  • Write paper or propose workshop for Berlin technology & society conference
  • Update on PE web development, including design, to NYC partners pre-Thailand trip
  • Skype conference with P. in Lima re: video interview with CEO
  • Glass Lab documentary: post to MIT Tech TV and other sites
  • Come up with syllabus amendments for Digital Poetry class
  • Clean bathroom

This is drastically different from one year ago, when my to-do list consisted of eating cookies and buying flip flops. How far we’ve come!

I had a dream last night about the kids I used to babysit in the ’90s, who are now in their twenties. It made no sense, as usual — W. and I had to choose between Breyer’s ice cream popsicles (oreo or fudge swirl?) in order to help her brother, A., accomplish something or evade something. And then we were in their mother’s house, and there was a giant stereo/recording station that went to the ceiling, which I stared at while the kids were sleeping.

But what was interesting about this dream, like many others, was that the kids were so real. They were about 6 and 8 in the dream, and I remember during the dream thinking, whoa, they really look and SOUND like they did at that age, and I haven’t seen them like this in so long. It’s like their child selves still exist in a parallel unconscious universe. W.’s voice was always distinctive; A.’s as well. I could see their white-blonde hair and the way W.’s eyebrows would wrinkle when she became intense about something. It was one of those vortex moments, when you’re not here but not there either, reliving something that never actually happened, but almost, almost…

Cinco de Mayo always reminds me of Eric Klingelhofer, a brilliant guy with a fabulous attitude problem who used to sit behind me in pre-calculus and throw things at my head. Today’s his birthday, if I remember correctly. I hope he’s somewhere wonderful, influencing public policy or facilitating urban renewal projects.

Meanwhile, last night I had a dream that my brother landed in a tiny spaceship that looked like one of those tiny M&M-esque European cars, and we flew over a not-quite-real world en route to some sporting event. This might be partially explained by a documentary I watched the night before, which included an aerial helicopter flight over central London, and partly by my longing to play sports.

Meanwhile, Burma is completely without water or electricity and I’m hoping my former colleagues returned from their Burma trip already, and are not in fact stuck in Rangoon. I get so mad when I read how the military claims the cyclone wrecked internet connections, when in fact the regime cut all internet access months ago as a means of media control. You can’t get online in Burma without a satellite connection, and right now you can’t get on at all. I’ll post updates if I get any.

Last night I had a dream about an ex, BP. I can’t go into any details, other than the fact that he had become a powerful yet sketchy business owner and also film actor, and I was forced to deal with him in some professional capacity, which resulted in sort of getting back together with him, despite the fact that he was married to an exotic dancer.

In other news, I had an “Overheard in Beantown” moment this afternoon, at the corner of Boylston and Exeter Streets: two tough-looking men were walking past me, and one of them said to the other, “I know it sounds kind of corny, but I really believe that–” and then they were out of earshot. I wish I could go back in time to hear the rest of that conversation. Sigh.

A few weeks ago, I started documenting my dreams. I record them with a digital audio recorder as soon as I wake up. The dreams all have similar themes: monsters trying to eat me, high school, Dave, insecurity, ex-coworkers, Marlon Brando. It proves to me how entirely fantastical and meaningless they really are.

Here’s one example of a dream I had a few weeks ago:

dream: the 9-year-old
me came to my door and i
almost slammed it in

her face. this was meant
to save us both, the future,
etc. still,

she smiled and turned,
used large words she didn’t yet
understand the way

i used to at that
age. makes sense, right? she was me –
polysyllabic,

too sarcastic in
ways funny only to her.
endearingly gauche.

what a small, coy thing
you are,
i didn’t say, and
noticed the way her

hair parted, scalp showed,
the incessant talking and
how her braids bended.

behind her stood some
others: the 80s version
of my mother, plus a

dear old friend, now gone.
much like our waking dream will,
the night dream ended.

Other than getting my teeth fixed, the best investment I’ve ever made is joining Boston Sport Boxing Club. D. and I completed our first personal training session the other night, which lasted over two and a half hours and has had me limping for two days. Pain before beauty, pain is beauty, what’s the expression? Whatever. Just as long as I can punch a solid hole through a solid wall without shattering all the bones in my hand, I’m happy.

In other news,

octopusI keep having nightmares about octopus. The moral of that story is never watch your friend eat baby octopus — whole — at a sushi bar, or anywhere else for that matter. Last night’s dream was about a girl at a pet shop who took care of this one little octopus and loved it, but I bought it off her, then I didn’t take care of it, then it stung me and crawled on me, then it became a giant spider and the girl picked it up. I returned it to her, told her to keep it and love it because I couldn’t, I didn’t want it after all, it was a scary aggressive octopus for Pete’s sake. [Cue Zak Smith's octopus drawing! Now!]

In self-oriented audio-visual news,
I still can’t think of a valid film idea, and my editor doesn’t want to do the 48-hr film project again, despite our win last year. I’m crying on the inside. On the outside, I’m just freezing.