I was thinking about the expression forgive and forget. Why is “forget” in there? Isn’t it important to remember things, even not good things, so that we don’t fall prey to more unpleasant scenarios or people in the future?
As I was talking about this to a friend, it occurred to me: when you really forgive someone, you stop thinking about the alleged wrong they did you. And “to stop thinking about” is pretty much the definition of forgetting. So actually, if you supposedly forgave someone, but you’re still thinking about their alleged wrongdoing, you actually haven’t forgiven them at all. What’s worse, you’ve led yourself to believe you’ve been righteous and faultless, when in fact you have not.
This is not to say that forgetting someone’s wrongdoing is akin to forgiving them; forgiveness implies a willingness not just to let go of bitterness but to replace all sense of bitterness with love. But what comes with successful forgiveness is successful forgetting.
And that is today’s food for thought. Thank you.