I had to let the whole thing go, it was taken by the wind and snow
I’ve been having some excellent moments. This is a huge relief. Today, back on the MIT campus, a trolley bus full of tourists drove up to the red light, and I recognized my old friend N. in the driver’s seat. He’s been doing this job for a decade. “Hey!” I said. “Hey, Bon!” he said, with his microphone strapped to his face and voice echoing throughout the trolley. He opened the doors and started talking to me about Peru and such, as if scores of tourists were not on board. “You have a green light,” I pointed out. “That’s ok,” he said, and we kept talking. It was a nice moment.
Another nice moment happened in pottery class (yes, I’m taking a fourth pottery class, brazen enough to enter intermediate this time). A girl next to me watched as every one of my attempted clay espresso cups collapsed into themselves and fell off the wheel. “It’s ok,” she said quietly. “I believe in you.” I wanted to hug her.
Also, all the men who’ve ever been in my life have suddenly come flooding back: an ex I thought I’d never talk to again, and a former prof friend of mine in NL, a wonderful and prolific ghost from Christmas Past who I can’t wait to see again, even after these all these old dead years.
And then I walked to the top of the Boston Common, in the fog, through the lush green of the trees I’d forgotten, and drank coffee and watched as a subtle emptiness overtook the park. I’ve been coming to that spot for twelve years now to watch the city and be awesomely alone. It’s my Appreciate Boston spot. I like to go there sometimes to think, and remember why I like living in this city. Simultaneously, in the parallel universe that I can feel from my gut, the other me was walking down Calle Pardo, past Vivanda and the building under construction, back to Calle Berlin and the view of the wide wide ocean from my room. I waved to her, and she waved back, then I sighed heavily and got on the subway. I can’t wait to make tons of money and travel constantly.
:: Now we’re cleaning the windows / between us two
Funny, you do it once, and then again / and pretty soon
The fingerprints and dust that I’ve begun to trust / won’t be here
#debtalan