My big excursion today has been walking five blocks to buy cat food. I have been trying to convert Flip HD files from MP4 from MOV (note: annoying) for FCP 5.1, but it’s taking forever with Compressor. There’s a new houseguest now, J., a German girl who was working here in Lima for 10 months and recently has been traveling to Bagua, to the heart of the indigenous protests, as part of research she’s doing for her thesis. We’re both holed up on the top floor with our stupid laptops — she’s trying to make contacts for more interviews, I’m waiting patiently for Compressor to compress. Neither of us want to go home, although that fate is looming with its teeth bared, an angry dog.
Meanwhile, I just ate another extra large bag of M&M’s.
Scenes to remember later:
- Peeing on the side of a snake-infested hill in San Ramón at night under a tree while the guys waited below for the roadblock to clear; a boy walked past and pretended not to notice me. Above, there were more stars than I’ve ever seen in my life.
- Same place, in the car: watching M.’s cigarette ash fall lightly whenever he quietly flicked it against the side of the Suzuki. Something about that scene was very zen. His fingers, the darkness, the stillness, the burning embers. I was sad, even as it was happening, that I would never see it again.
- Bumping along a dirt road at night in the jungle of Pangoa with my head out the window, remembering a similar night in the back of a pickup in Thailand, laughing with a bunch of stateless Burmese kids. Sometimes it feels amazing to be in the middle of nowhere. You kind of want the earth to just swallow you up.
- Making espresso every morning in P.’s apartment, with thick cream and cinnamon. Cleaning the kitchen afterward. Writing with Abhi every night until 3a, with smoke dying in the fireplace and an orange smog overtaking the city outside. “Just like hooooooney,” he sings. Makes me laugh so hard I cry. I appreciate this terribly.
- Buying tampons with Peter. Unsolicited uterus jokes. It’s a good friend who will postpone breakfast to scavenge around a jungle town in search of tampons for you. Seriously, a good good friend.
- Watching M. sleep. With the tv blaring. Watching P. sleep, snoring. With the tv blaring.
- Bonding with the man in the hardware store. Letting the woman at the sunglasses store select a pair she thought looked nice. Bonding with the man in line for Terminator when I went to the movies alone for a second time. Walking back along the water at midnight, watching the waves roll in like the heartbeat of a calm divinity; noticing the moon, absolutely huge, and the neon cross glowing on the other side of the sea. Walking away from the cross. Walking past the lighthouse. Walking past the tennis courts. Walking past the solitary men with their dogs. Walking past the women in uniforms, cleaning the streets.
- Eating P.’s Bavarian weisswurst while he and N. watch Lost.
- Discussing politics with K. as we played pool in a billiard place full of men. The long walk home; Calle Berlin was all echoes and shadows.
:: none comes at first, and little comes at all – #difranco
