— tapioca world tour

Technically, I’ve had 57 appointments at the ortho since this ordeal began, but some were minor last-minute appointments so for this record, it’s 49.

Anyway, let’s get to the point: they’re off! RIP Braces: April 28, 2005 – March 20, 2008.

After a little crying, some bleeding gums, and drilling through five or six brackets because they were too sensitive to pop off, everything was over and I was fitted for clear plastic “forgiver” retainers, which I picked up today, and which also make me want to cry when I put them in.

The FIT canine had moved up into the gum a bit, so it’s not level with the left canine, but we decided to just let it be. Doc wanted to shave the edges of the front eye teeth to round out the sides and make them not so boxy, but I vetoed that measure. Why? Because my original teeth were boxy to begin with. Why ruin a good thing? Also, once he shaves them, that’s it. If I don’t like the result, I can’t get the old ones back. We made a deal that I could go back at any point if I change my mind. I’ll see him again in three months anyway, when they check to make sure my retainers are working out and the smile is still ok.

Doc blew me a kiss as he walked out of the office. Slightly inappropriate, but I appreciate the homage. It’s been a long 2 years 11 months.

Now, because people have asked, I am finally posting some pictures of the teeth’s progression.

DISCLAIMER ONE: these are gross, gross photos. Proceed at your own risk.
DISCLAIMER TWO: most were taken with either a phone camera or a webcam, so they’re not very clear. Sorry.

• April 29, 2005 (braces put on, two front teeth pulled)
• September 2005 (two more teeth pulled; impacted canine in gum exposed)
• December 2005
• June 2006 (impacted canine almost down)
• January 2006 (impacted canine down)
• August 2007 (front teeth shaved)
• March 20, 2008 (braces taken off)

(I skipped most of 2007 because that year was spent correcting my bite, so photos all looked the same.) They’re not perfect, but I can chew, the baby tooth is out, the crossbite is fixed, the impacted canine is down, and they generally look ok. THE END! Thank you for reading my ortho adventure. Email me (audubon at tapioca dot tv) if you’re in the Boston area and looking for a good orthodontist.

Guess what?

I bet you can guess. At long last, the metal is coming off….in TWO DAYS! This all came about as part of a discussion Doc & I had about my teeth this morning. He made me stare in the mirror and tell him all the things I thought were still “wrong”. Well, there’s this space in the gum where the FIC (Formerly Impacted Canine) begins. Doc said, well, that’s because the bone didn’t grow up there because it used to be impacted, you’ll just have to live with it.

Well, my upper right 2 FST (tooth next to the front tooth, aka Formerly Sideways Tooth) isn’t completely flush with the other teeth. Doc said, “Let’s shave the front of it to correct that,” and he did.

Well, the FIC on the upper right doesn’t exactly fit together with the bottom teeth, such that there’s kind of a space between the top and bottom when my teeth are together. Doc said, “You have two options: your bite is in the best position it’s been in, so we can stop being finicky and just decide to take the braces off, or I can attach a bone screw (yes, a screw that goes into the lower jawbone) so that you can wear an elastic from your upper canine and pull it down more, so there won’t be a space when you bite. We could do that today.”

No bone screw! Are you kidding? A BONE SCREW? No way! Fortunately Doc shared my concern that, even with a bone screw, it could still mess up the bite or the cant which could take another 4+ months to correct. We decided to break even and call the whole thing off.

I return the day after tomorrow to compromise and close the deal on this sorry adventure. Sure, the teeth won’t be perfect, but at least I won’t have sideways teeth and a greying baby tooth and a canine wedged up on the roof of my mouth, and I’ll be able to chew, and things will look *almost* perfect. Who wants to be exactly perfect, anyway?

So, our tale has almost come to a close. I’ll post some actual photos when it’s really over.